Confessions #2

Anonymous

I have dated my boyfriend for 3 years now, and the first two years of our relationship was a torture to me.

I was unemployed for sometime aftfer completing my NSS and I had to live with my boyfriend for some time while looking for a job.

I will cook, clean and serve him just to show appreciation for allowing me to stay with him in my hard times. And all this while, we split all bills 50/50.

He only owns the room where he stayed. I paid for utility,  food and at a point I realised I was even spending more than he was willing to give. He will borrow from me and be owing me at the end of every month even while I was unemployed. 

I was lucky to have siblings who send me money for my upkeep hoping I was fine wherever I was and wish I get my hands on a job soon.

While living with my boyfriend, he will ignore me most at times, pretend not to care about anything I do, doesn't lift a finger to help in anything in the house, wouldn't have nice conversations with me as we use to have and worst of all, he will go and sit outside for hours talking to other ladies he claim are his friends. I will complain and he always made me feel I was the problem.

Ever since I lived with him, he will never buy anything needed to make life better in his room. He always makes me feel he doesn't have.

Fast forward, i got a well paying job, and managed to get my own apartment. This guy started acting all nice towards me and told me to put everything that happened aside and that we should start a new life. I went to his apartment to pick my last luggage and noticed he had started decorating his room and buying all the items we needed to make our lives better when I was staying with him.

This broke my heart and I felt he needed me out of his place because he just didn't care about the heat I endured or the kitchen cabinet we needed. But he managed to buy them immediately.

I am still dating this guy and I can say I feel empty around him. Things that used to excite me when I'm with someone I am dating no longer excites me. I don't hate him but I feel I wasn't treated fairly, and I always wonder if he is with me because I am working and earning now.

I always feel he is using me. He doesn't pick calls from the other girls again, even though I see them calling all the time.

I don't know how to get rid of him from my life. Because I feel he helps me once and I don't want to be ungrateful.